The Work of Staying
Couples and Relationship Therapist in Brooklyn, NY
Couples therapy and relationship counseling, online across New York State, for couples who are high-functioning everywhere except with each other.
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What Couples Therapy Is Really For
Most couples arrive wanting to communicate better, or to fight less. Both are reasonable hopes, and better tools can help. Communication, though, is a means. What you are actually longing for is to feel known by the person who knows you best.
So we go past technique to the real work: connection, intimacy, and the shared story of who the two of you are. We do not silence conflict, which only trades intimacy for a quieter kind of distance. We make it better conflict - the kind that tells the truth and leaves you more known, and less armored.
Marriage Counseling for Couples Who Feel Stuck
Couples come to a marriage counselor at two different moments. Some arrive early, when something has gone quiet and neither of you can name it. Some arrive late, after a betrayal or a year of near-misses, when the question is whether there is anything left to work with. Both are workable.
Sometimes a relationship gets lodged in grievance - the same wound, rehearsed, until neither of you feels understood. Other times life does the damage: work, money, illness, or loss slips inside and becomes a problem between you, and you end up facing each other instead of the thing itself. Much of marriage counseling is turning back around. We loosen the grip of old grievances and put the real problem back in front of you, where you can meet it side by side. You are the two people best placed to face what life is asking, together.
Discernment Counseling
I also offer discernment counseling: a process of carefully and mutually determining whether a relationship is coming to its end, or whether there are steps not yet taken that could revive it. This is about tuning in to the authentic voice of the relationship itself. Staying together is not held up as the only marker of success. The question is what love is asking for.
What Couples Counseling Helps With
Couples come to this work in crisis, in longing, and sometimes simply to deepen something already good. Online, anywhere in New York State - all of it is welcome.
- Recurring arguments that end with neither partner feeling understood
- Emotional distance, lost intimacy, or the sense of living as roommates
- Infidelity, betrayal, or the slow work of rebuilding trust
- Relationship issues that keep repeating, with this partner and the ones before
- Parenting differences and the strain of raising children together
- Major transitions - relocation, a career change, a new baby, retirement, loss
- Discernment counseling - the question of whether to stay or to go
- Open relationships and less traditional models of partnership
- Premarital counseling for couples wanting a stronger foundation
How I Work With Couples
I am Avi Steinhardt, a licensed clinical social worker. I work with couples across every stage of partnership, from newly committed to decades in. The work draws on Gestalt therapy and relational psychodynamic approaches - less about scripts and techniques, more about what is actually happening between you in the session.
Sessions are held online, anywhere in New York State. For many couples that is the difference between doing this work and postponing it: two calendars, no commute, and a wider choice of hour.
You can read more about Avi and this practice, read whether couples therapy works, or explore the grief therapy work for partners navigating loss.
Common Questions About Couples and Relationship Therapy
How is couples therapy different from individual therapy?
Couples therapist, relationship therapist, marriage counselor: which one do I need?
Do you offer couples therapy online?
What if my partner is reluctant to start?
Do you work with couples considering separation or divorce?
Is online couples therapy effective?
Do you offer premarital counseling?
How much does couples therapy cost?
Start Couples Therapy
I begin with a free 15-minute consultation - a focused conversation to understand what brings you here and whether this work feels right.
Limited availability. Online, anywhere in New York State.
Request a Private ConsultationRequest a Private Consultation
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In Their Words
My husband and I found Avi when we were in a dark place. Avi was thoughtful, patient with us - and funny!
My husband and I found Avi when we were in a dark place. Avi was thoughtful, patient with us - and funny! We didn't know what we were looking for, but we found a fellow artist. He's so soulful, and he has this magical ability to help you unwind yourself. For that, we're grateful. We've asked him to work with our teenagers, family members, even friends. He's truly singular.
Since working with Avi, I've grown into the person I want to be - more self-aware, confident, and in touch with my needs.
Since working with Avi, I've grown into the person I want to be - more self-aware, confident, and in touch with my needs. He's truly exceptional, and working with him has been a gift!
Avi Steinhardt was an amazing counselor for myself and my family. His kind understanding, and knowledge helped me.
Avi Steinhardt was an amazing counselor for myself and my family. His kind understanding, and knowledge helped me get through a very stressful part of my life, being a single mom.
When I speak with Avi, I feel more than heard. His patience has allowed that enlightenment to occur organically.
When I speak with Avi, I feel more than heard. His patience has allowed that enlightenment to occur organically, and though the positive impact on my life has been nothing short of massive, the process has always felt simple, human, and caring.
Avi has helped us better understand ourselves and each other, which has had a meaningful impact on our relationship.
We came to Avi because we felt trapped in arguments that would end with neither of us feeling understood. Avi has helped us better understand ourselves and each other, which has had a meaningful impact on the quality of our relationship. We feel more trusting and appreciative of one another and experience less escalation during times of conflict.